Thought for a Monay

I am trying this new thing where I focus solely on me and my wants.I want to be healthier and work out every day. I want to feel better about the woman I am and the woman that I hope to be. I want to be more in tune and in touch with God and his plan for me. I want to be able to let go and know that things will work out as He sees fit. I want to have better money management, and I want to not THINK so much about things that dont really matter-- like men. HA! I want for things to work out for me and I want to be better organized in my life so that I can see my path and be able to live and breathe serenity and find my center. I want to be the best of things, and see my faults and minimize them. I want to be strong for my friends and family, and myself. I want to have patience and know that everyday I am working towards magic in creating my life.

I want to wake up knowing that I am enough, and living the days with that in mind.

I want to be enough for myself and for those that I love.

I want Mondays to go away-- however--lol--one can only want so much.

Ta Ta for now.

B

Some things might not be meant to be....I need to keep it pushin

So, whats really sad--- is that nobody actually reads this--other than my 2 followers-- not even my family.

AND

that I think im destined to be alone. Not having an actual relationship in 6 years is NOT a phase-- its a reality--and should be a sign to myself--however I have chosen to ignore the facts and place my faith in the "what if".

I am trying more and more each day to be ok with this reality. Girlfriends that mean well-- are NOT making the situation any better. Their eternal springs of hope-- dont help. They just place me back in the cycle that leads to disappointment.

Here are the facts-- and I am prepared to face and accept them, even if I dont want to. so yeah..

I just think that this whole, "the right person is out there" and "you WILL meet him"-- when NOTHING positive has happened in 6 years-- cant be a good sign or a healthy way to think about this. I know that they want to bring postitivity to my life-- but the SITUATION speaks for itself. I might not be meant for anyone on this earth. I might be meant for solitude and something other than being in a relationship and being able to build and share my life with a significant other. This hopeless romantic is just that-- HOPELESS! And to repeatedly tell me something that is alternative to what is FACTUAL and what LIFE PATTERN has arisen-- I know is meant well-- but in MY REALITY is just mean! It gives me hope-- which ultimately leads to disappointment and shattered dreams once again. No matter what I WANT-- it might not be what I get. So....

Im trying-- to be a big girl about this--to face the facts and reality. To look at my hopes in the face and say-- "You might not be-- so I need to let you go" Its not that its easy to do this-- its not that I dont shed tears and mourn for the loss of hope-- I do. But in order for me to not dwell on this-- in order for me to move on and not SEE EVERYTHING THAT I WANT NOT HAPPEN TO ME. In order for me to be ok and be happy when others are happy with their others... to not constantly compare myself and come up short because no man cares about me for me--- I need to let this go--

So.....

Here I stand- alone.

New Dawn New Day-- and yeah Im Feelin Pretty Good

So I GOT A PROMOTION!!!!!

I am now a Marketing Associate on a P & G brand. WOO HOOO

It has taken a little time for me to get acquainted with my new position and Im learning new things every day! Its so exciting and rewarding to know that the work you have done will be seen by TONS of people. I need to work where I can see a result and know that I affected that change.

I am still transitioning to living here in Boston without my ride or dies... MISS YALL!!!!

I miss just seeing my friends whenever, and someone having something going on at their house--- or hitting up a great eatery--or just being and catching up on stuff.

Im working out being happy every day and in the little things. I have started school again, and so on Tuesdays and Wednesdays please just PASS THE REDBULL (sugar free suga!)

I am just trying to find my place in the world while noticing that I am in fact aging...

Question: Ladies-- do you feel pressure to have at least one of the following under your belt or BOTH--- Professional Career--- wherein you are on a solid path of a career of your choosing, not just working a job

Domestic-- being able to lock down that dude, and take those next steps.... or even have a long term relationship?

Iunno-- they SAY that I shouldnt worry about things like that but im 26 and aint getting any younger. I feel as though Im floudering as I have none of those under my belt-- WELL MAYBE THE FIRST NOW....

But to feel a strong connection with a significant other? Nope-- not Bri-- sigh-- moving forward....

I do wonder-- what happens if Im 33 and unmarried. I want babies-- Do I then consider having a family of my own SANS man? Because I could do that-- I dont want to and it certainly is not preferred, but I could-- (Shout out to my mom who RAISED 3 kids-- all of whom are in collegiate education, no drugs, no babies, no nothing but that great straight path of edcuation and family values--no disrespect it was just how i was raised) My mom has infused in me strength and with that strength courage to do what I need to do for my life....

I want a family and to have babies-- I do-- but Im not intimidated to do it on my own if my EVER PRESENT AND ALWAYS DREAMED OF LIFE does not fall into place. -- That possibility of NOT reaching that romantic goal of husband and babies MIGHT NOT HAPPEN (especially at this pace) and thankfully I live in a time, where I can make that choice and decision....

Wow this certainly did take an interesting turn....