Crappy Monday!
Its raining, I had to be at work for 8:30, its the first day that I am going BACK TO THE GYM, and Im again, 3 clicks off center.
Sheesh!
Well, the gym thing, is going to eventually lead to a postive transformation. But everything else can SHOVE IT!
This 3 clicks off center thing is getting old, I wake up, and feel that something is amiss, yet I cant quite put my finger on it. I guess its finding my happy??? Iunno. I think that I might be trying too hard to maintain a contentment.
Ever wonder if you are destined to NOT be like most people. That your life is unique, that your path is drastically different from the majority of the population, yet still seeped in reality and society? I feel this greatness bubbling inside me, I guess Im just not sure on how to let it free....... I just wanna be successful, I just want to be able to reach some of the potential I know I have, I just wanna tap into that extra something, if only slightly more than 10% of brainpower. Hell, I dont even know what I want to do, Im just capatilizing on the opportunities that come my way.... I think it might be focus that I lack that is driving me mad. As of now--finish grad school, get an apartment, get a 3rd roommate, finish the internship strong, go to the gym regularlly, eat better, BE better, reevaluate what path you want to take at work,---- exhausting I know...
I think that I think too much......I think, therefore I am... sigh-- but what AM I?
Monday, June 29, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
MJ
Sigh,
As a friend recently said, EVERYONE'S childhood icon is gone.
I grew up listening to Michael, watching him make thousands of people loose their minds, and dancing until I couldnt walk anymore and simply tired myself out!
He was like Elvis. He was music, and his eccentricity killed him in the end. There is a price to pay for fame, and mostly its the loss of privacy. Its having MOST things you decide to do, scrutinized and calculated. Its buying clothing while cameras snap and snap, and eventually YOU WILL SNAP!
He was an icon, and yet as a person, we will never really know. He was conflicted and confused, as many of his interviews will show, and yet we love him and fawn over him.
I wont pretend to know the man in the mirror...lol... but I will say that I had a relationship with the music and the icon. A love affair that began when my parents put him on the record player. Let me stay up to watch the concert where people lost their minds, and he was glorified.
Michael Jackson the musician, the artist, the KING OF POP---- RIP sir, RIP--- you will live on in infamy, your music will be played and played and played... Michael Jackson the man, may your children have peace and be cared for, and may your life be remembered with fond words....
sigh-- alas, we live in THIS world, and already its drugs this, and not with reality that.... smh ppl SMH (shakin my head!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7MmEMrCRfc
I know that I will only remember the Michael I wanted you to be... so.....
As a friend recently said, EVERYONE'S childhood icon is gone.
I grew up listening to Michael, watching him make thousands of people loose their minds, and dancing until I couldnt walk anymore and simply tired myself out!
He was like Elvis. He was music, and his eccentricity killed him in the end. There is a price to pay for fame, and mostly its the loss of privacy. Its having MOST things you decide to do, scrutinized and calculated. Its buying clothing while cameras snap and snap, and eventually YOU WILL SNAP!
He was an icon, and yet as a person, we will never really know. He was conflicted and confused, as many of his interviews will show, and yet we love him and fawn over him.
I wont pretend to know the man in the mirror...lol... but I will say that I had a relationship with the music and the icon. A love affair that began when my parents put him on the record player. Let me stay up to watch the concert where people lost their minds, and he was glorified.
Michael Jackson the musician, the artist, the KING OF POP---- RIP sir, RIP--- you will live on in infamy, your music will be played and played and played... Michael Jackson the man, may your children have peace and be cared for, and may your life be remembered with fond words....
sigh-- alas, we live in THIS world, and already its drugs this, and not with reality that.... smh ppl SMH (shakin my head!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7MmEMrCRfc
I know that I will only remember the Michael I wanted you to be... so.....
BBQ Festival!
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Oh Mr. Johnson, we shoulda got your autograph!
Sir, 2, (and if I had more I would use them) VERY enthusiastic thumbs up!!!!
We even had some Shrimp on the Barbie by the Australian team!
Oh, now the weather reminded me of San Fran, as we were stuck in a cloud for most of the day, but the beer was cold, the ribs, catfish, fries, chicken, sausage, and beans, not to mention shrimp were all hot hot hot!
We even went to the racetrack as it was held in the back parking lot of Suffolk Downs in East Boston. I bet on 9 and 7. And my pride still hurts as they were the LAST TWO TO CROSS!!!! However, the $2 bets I placed, and the race that followed really made it a full DAY! I never knew how exciting a horse race could be, but smelling the horses, and seeing them ridden, reminded me of good days riding in Texas and how much I love to ride, and jump and show.... sigh....
Aside from the fact that I was the 5th wheel.... sigh.... the day was very enjoyable. I would highly recommend looking on Phantom Gourmet http://phantomgourmet.com/ as they have many events throughout the year here in Boston, the next being a gourmet tasting I believe. I plan on going to more of these events, as whats more American that overindulging in fattening, unhealthy food?! LOL
I have ribs for lunch for next week, if they make it past tonight! I can say that it helped me forget about my homesickness. The "ITIS" did sneak up on us though and when we arrived back at my friend's house, plop...snooze...snor... SO WORTH IT!
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Oh Mr. Johnson, we shoulda got your autograph!
Sir, 2, (and if I had more I would use them) VERY enthusiastic thumbs up!!!!
We even had some Shrimp on the Barbie by the Australian team!
Oh, now the weather reminded me of San Fran, as we were stuck in a cloud for most of the day, but the beer was cold, the ribs, catfish, fries, chicken, sausage, and beans, not to mention shrimp were all hot hot hot!
We even went to the racetrack as it was held in the back parking lot of Suffolk Downs in East Boston. I bet on 9 and 7. And my pride still hurts as they were the LAST TWO TO CROSS!!!! However, the $2 bets I placed, and the race that followed really made it a full DAY! I never knew how exciting a horse race could be, but smelling the horses, and seeing them ridden, reminded me of good days riding in Texas and how much I love to ride, and jump and show.... sigh....
Aside from the fact that I was the 5th wheel.... sigh.... the day was very enjoyable. I would highly recommend looking on Phantom Gourmet http://phantomgourmet.com/ as they have many events throughout the year here in Boston, the next being a gourmet tasting I believe. I plan on going to more of these events, as whats more American that overindulging in fattening, unhealthy food?! LOL
I have ribs for lunch for next week, if they make it past tonight! I can say that it helped me forget about my homesickness. The "ITIS" did sneak up on us though and when we arrived back at my friend's house, plop...snooze...snor... SO WORTH IT!
The Color Purple
Last week Wednesday June 17th, I was lucky enough to be given some tickets to The Color Purple. I am ashamed to say that it was my first time seeing the production.. EVER!
I was a wonderful performance full of a cast that had several nominations of the roles that they performed for us. I thinkt that the combination of humor with singing, and dancing was an effective way of getting that story across. It was comforting to see that it was a packed house. There were people there of all different colors, generally just being able to appreciate great art when its performed.
I wouldnt say that I had a favorite... oh who am I kidding! PUSH THE BUTTON.....mostly because it was great fun and singing and dancing and had a great many of the cast involved with men shirtless and just--sigh... if only... MOVING ON....
Yes, given the chance I would see it again. As I know from inside information, getting the African American community of Boston to see this performance in the middle of a recession proved to be a difficult task when marketing. I know of NUMEROUS associations that did group nights as I am sure they were heavily discounted.
The Wang Theatre was something itself! Guady comes to mind when I walked in. I often love simply looking up when I enter such an established venue, but DAMN, overkill much?! There was gold dripping from every corner, naked dipictions holding grapes and somber faces staring at you as you moved forward, then-- like a shining beacon we caught the last few seconds of a quartet of singing gospel singers, whose voices rose above the commotion and into your heart, playing its strings while weidling tear producing powers. Their harmony was a joy, a clean, pierce into what you hoped you would get out of that night.
And I did. :)
I was a wonderful performance full of a cast that had several nominations of the roles that they performed for us. I thinkt that the combination of humor with singing, and dancing was an effective way of getting that story across. It was comforting to see that it was a packed house. There were people there of all different colors, generally just being able to appreciate great art when its performed.
I wouldnt say that I had a favorite... oh who am I kidding! PUSH THE BUTTON.....mostly because it was great fun and singing and dancing and had a great many of the cast involved with men shirtless and just--sigh... if only... MOVING ON....
Yes, given the chance I would see it again. As I know from inside information, getting the African American community of Boston to see this performance in the middle of a recession proved to be a difficult task when marketing. I know of NUMEROUS associations that did group nights as I am sure they were heavily discounted.
The Wang Theatre was something itself! Guady comes to mind when I walked in. I often love simply looking up when I enter such an established venue, but DAMN, overkill much?! There was gold dripping from every corner, naked dipictions holding grapes and somber faces staring at you as you moved forward, then-- like a shining beacon we caught the last few seconds of a quartet of singing gospel singers, whose voices rose above the commotion and into your heart, playing its strings while weidling tear producing powers. Their harmony was a joy, a clean, pierce into what you hoped you would get out of that night.
And I did. :)
The Beginning
WELCOME TO MY BLOG!!!
There are so many days that I say to myself, "Self, WOMAN, you should really start writing again. You should really find an outlet for all your thoughts that swim in that 'Alice in Wonderland' type mind of yours. WOMAN, Brianca, love, take control--write a blog", and thats exactly what I have done.
I am writing because I feel as though, mind you I FEEL, as though my experience is a unique one. That what I have done in the last year, should be shared and hopefully help others who are looking to change their lives as well. Because that is what I did. I gained courage, I had focus, (which was different from the usual Brianca), and I feel as though I tool control of the reigns of my life for once and guided them onto a path that will take me to the great heights of accomplishment and success that I have always dreamed of.
Let Us Begin:
"Lets start at the very beginning, a very good place to start, when you speak you being with A, B, C....."
The beginning was Dec.30, 2007. It wasnt a very solid year for me. It was one of agony, and in hindsight, great learning. Learning what NOT to do, was the lesson of 2007. I had a job that was, in the best of terms, trying. I felt as though WHO I was, was for some reason, threatening to those who it should have not been. But then again, I suppose we can all feel threatened by the unknown. Anyways, we were moving OUT of the BH, and into LA, and where o where would I find the perfect fit?! Tears were involved, frustration and hopelessness were my current companions and then came Niesha. Her add said something of the lots of storage space, garage parking, sitting area, WALK IN CLOSET--(which she was NOT lying about). And there that day, I fell in love with the most incredible roommate ever! She supported me, got me, listened to me, and most of all befriended me during those months that we lived together. The experience gave me hope and without it-I would not be here, in Cambridge, with Bootz at my feet, typing a blog on my laptop while still in bed.
FAST FORWARD TO JULY 2008!
I had applied, I had toiled for MONTHS over the essay that I was convinced would gain me entry into Emerson College and their graduate program of Integrated Marketing Communication. I WAS RIGHT! THAT, and I think all the positive thinking and "secret" putting out their into the universe. I would say, "if" I got in--and then immediately correct myself and say, "when" I got in. It was that easy. I knew, I felt, I prayed, that God would grant me this monumental change in my life and allow for everything to work itself out. And I thank Him on this day of rest, that he granted me this blessing. To be very independent and to change who and what I was for the better. On July 24th, or something like that, I received a letter, mind you I was in Smart and Final with my grandparents getting something for my mother, and Niesha, bless her, called to tell me that an envelope had arrived. Me, having a ahem, MINOR, attraction to drama, asked for her to open it and read it to me. I GOT IN!!!1 I. GOT. IN.!!!!! They wanted me to be a part of their prestigious program and I GOT IN!!! Mind you-- the WHOLE of Smart and Final knew that I got into graduate school, as I was squealing and yelling to anyone, including my grandparents, that I GOT IN!!!!
Now-- the hard part. Not over thinking, not freaking out, not getting too worked up that I literally had a month to get all my California affairs in order and move 3000 miles to an unknown city, into an unknown apartment, get an unknown job, and move with nothing but my clothes and Bootz my cat. Needless to say, it got done. Mostly because I was moving too fast to actually stop and think. I think if I had I would have gone with my natural inclination, and postponed for a semester.
I deconstructed my life. Everything that I had ever known, and gave MOST of it away to charity! This is including most of my clothes, shoes, and anything else that someone else would be able to use. The one loose end being my car.....
I got on a plane on August 31st. Erica, and Nikki, helped me bring over the last of my things, eat an In N Out burger, have a vanilla milkshake and got me on that plane. I will forever remember their love and that day. My grandmother stopped by the apartment like 3 times that afternoon. And I didnt realize that it was such a big deal. That it was such a move to make, to leave the life that you knew to come to a different world to DO YOU! Because when you are in it... you are in it, living it breathing it just going about your life not knowing how others see it.
I can say, without an air of conceit, that I did something to be proud of... I am putting myself through graduate school away from those that I love in a city that has sun, and such interesting people. I am missing out on life's events to be here and to pursue a dream that Im not even sure I have figured out yet....
That is all for now...
I think this is a strong beginning, and as such, can PROBABLY promise that my other posts will not be as long. But for those that choose to read this, for those that think I have something great to say, welcome. Welcome to the life of Brianca M.-- should be a good story :)
There are so many days that I say to myself, "Self, WOMAN, you should really start writing again. You should really find an outlet for all your thoughts that swim in that 'Alice in Wonderland' type mind of yours. WOMAN, Brianca, love, take control--write a blog", and thats exactly what I have done.
I am writing because I feel as though, mind you I FEEL, as though my experience is a unique one. That what I have done in the last year, should be shared and hopefully help others who are looking to change their lives as well. Because that is what I did. I gained courage, I had focus, (which was different from the usual Brianca), and I feel as though I tool control of the reigns of my life for once and guided them onto a path that will take me to the great heights of accomplishment and success that I have always dreamed of.
Let Us Begin:
"Lets start at the very beginning, a very good place to start, when you speak you being with A, B, C....."
The beginning was Dec.30, 2007. It wasnt a very solid year for me. It was one of agony, and in hindsight, great learning. Learning what NOT to do, was the lesson of 2007. I had a job that was, in the best of terms, trying. I felt as though WHO I was, was for some reason, threatening to those who it should have not been. But then again, I suppose we can all feel threatened by the unknown. Anyways, we were moving OUT of the BH, and into LA, and where o where would I find the perfect fit?! Tears were involved, frustration and hopelessness were my current companions and then came Niesha. Her add said something of the lots of storage space, garage parking, sitting area, WALK IN CLOSET--(which she was NOT lying about). And there that day, I fell in love with the most incredible roommate ever! She supported me, got me, listened to me, and most of all befriended me during those months that we lived together. The experience gave me hope and without it-I would not be here, in Cambridge, with Bootz at my feet, typing a blog on my laptop while still in bed.
FAST FORWARD TO JULY 2008!
I had applied, I had toiled for MONTHS over the essay that I was convinced would gain me entry into Emerson College and their graduate program of Integrated Marketing Communication. I WAS RIGHT! THAT, and I think all the positive thinking and "secret" putting out their into the universe. I would say, "if" I got in--and then immediately correct myself and say, "when" I got in. It was that easy. I knew, I felt, I prayed, that God would grant me this monumental change in my life and allow for everything to work itself out. And I thank Him on this day of rest, that he granted me this blessing. To be very independent and to change who and what I was for the better. On July 24th, or something like that, I received a letter, mind you I was in Smart and Final with my grandparents getting something for my mother, and Niesha, bless her, called to tell me that an envelope had arrived. Me, having a ahem, MINOR, attraction to drama, asked for her to open it and read it to me. I GOT IN!!!1 I. GOT. IN.!!!!! They wanted me to be a part of their prestigious program and I GOT IN!!! Mind you-- the WHOLE of Smart and Final knew that I got into graduate school, as I was squealing and yelling to anyone, including my grandparents, that I GOT IN!!!!
Now-- the hard part. Not over thinking, not freaking out, not getting too worked up that I literally had a month to get all my California affairs in order and move 3000 miles to an unknown city, into an unknown apartment, get an unknown job, and move with nothing but my clothes and Bootz my cat. Needless to say, it got done. Mostly because I was moving too fast to actually stop and think. I think if I had I would have gone with my natural inclination, and postponed for a semester.
I deconstructed my life. Everything that I had ever known, and gave MOST of it away to charity! This is including most of my clothes, shoes, and anything else that someone else would be able to use. The one loose end being my car.....
I got on a plane on August 31st. Erica, and Nikki, helped me bring over the last of my things, eat an In N Out burger, have a vanilla milkshake and got me on that plane. I will forever remember their love and that day. My grandmother stopped by the apartment like 3 times that afternoon. And I didnt realize that it was such a big deal. That it was such a move to make, to leave the life that you knew to come to a different world to DO YOU! Because when you are in it... you are in it, living it breathing it just going about your life not knowing how others see it.
I can say, without an air of conceit, that I did something to be proud of... I am putting myself through graduate school away from those that I love in a city that has sun, and such interesting people. I am missing out on life's events to be here and to pursue a dream that Im not even sure I have figured out yet....
That is all for now...
I think this is a strong beginning, and as such, can PROBABLY promise that my other posts will not be as long. But for those that choose to read this, for those that think I have something great to say, welcome. Welcome to the life of Brianca M.-- should be a good story :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)